Connecting “You to You” – Writing!

Connecting “You to You” - Writing

I picked up my beautiful 😊 handwriting from my father, whose written application no one understood but I always got a ‘leave of absence.’ My rule was to make it look good, but one should not understand a word of it. I tried angles to see if words look better at zero degrees or at 10, 20, 30, 45, even sixty degrees 😉

The damage was being done year on year… till I bumped into one of my best teachers Mrs. Maneckji- my English teacher. However, hard she tried but she could not make me change my fantastic habit of words and letters in a word flying in pair of 2… over the years even I tried but could not. As I moved on, the angles worked to perfection and people’s ability to decipher my secret code continued to diminish from bad to worst… I remember one fantastic anecdote with one of my Navy academy law teacher- one day he pulled out my 4th-semester law paper in front of the class and announced that I got maximum marks. He waved my paper and he said “Looks are always deceptive.”

He proclaimed that he did not understand all my words- thanks to my good handwriting 😎, so rest he assumed it to be right. And as law works on evidence, he had no concrete evidence that the words he could not understand were right or wrong- and hence he has to give the benefit of the doubt and thus I got full marks. While that’s on the lighter side- my journey from a naval honcho to an IT person, helped me a lot as my beautiful handwriting gave way to electronic typing. But the touch and feel of one’s handwriting has its own charm. I still prefer using handwritten notes over typed notes. Because I feel I can connect with what I write vs what I type. Even the use of stylus over electronic screen

Connecting “You to You” - Writing 2

does not give me that connected feeling.

Writing is an outlet of your expression, your innerself – when you write you empty yourself and become light- what actually you are doing is- that you are imprinting your footprints via your words in the annals of history! As you complete your words you are actually becoming history for your reader(s) to connect and decipher.

However to become a good writer you have to be a good reader and a very keen observer of human behavior and its nuances, which means you should know the art of connecting. Other trait I realize is that you need to be a person close to ‘nature’-meaning being with nature. That’s where ideas of your next writing endeavor crops up… amidst that misty silence… when the sun is trying to shower it’s not so warm…warmth on Mother Earth on a cold misty winter morning.

Connecting “You to You” - Writing 3

Write as much as you can, whenever you can- teach through writing (on paper or board) than speaking. Write about anything… just start writing… you will see ‘yourself’ within you who can and is expressing his/her thought/ wisdom/ emotion/ point of view through you and to you… Happy Writing 😃

Reading: It happens to you if you make it happen by design or default…

It happens to you if you make it happen by design or default
A book from Ayn Rand was thrown at me as I managed my way into grade 11th. The name was ‘Fountainhead’-the book was 400 plus pages talking about how one would plan his/her success in life. I thought passing Xth with first division will herald my arrival into an automatic career leap!! I finished the book in precisely 2.5 … I mean years. As a child, we picked up the habit of reading from our mother who was addicted to reading novels along with it came Champak, Nandan, Lotpot as a bribe . Those days you could not afford to buy these weekly subscriptions, it was given on rent. Airbnb or rent economy was there even in the 70’s- demand/supply curve was always there- 70’s there was more demand for reading- as every parents aspired to get a good education for their kids. Rent, paced us to improve our speed or pay for more days which we could not have.
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Necessity is the ‘mother of invention’ is the lesson I learned along with the added advantage of speed reading which has stood me in good stead as I grew up in my life. Reading from comics to novels obviously helped in my studies or say “quick studies” as , I was always catching up to pass with minimum good grades for parents due to my over indulgence in sports. Speed reading helped in understanding things a lot more in the shortest span of time then and…as the saying goes, when you keep at something continuously you shall start getting it and I started to get it slowly but steadily what I use to read… step by step and that is the beauty of reading…. drop by drop… the knowledge, the interpretation, the crux starts to seep into your intellect making you a different person or shall I say in finding ‘the person’ which is you.
Reading over the last 30 years – all types from fiction to non-fiction to business has made me wiser, balanced and empowered. Its something I start and end my day with. Modes are electronic, audio, video and the best still remains the old hard copy… Reading memoirs/autobiographies are the best..imagine a smart, famous or intellectual person who puts his/her entire life learnings in 300-400 pages. We just need to glean those pages…These learnings are priceless, what it needs from you is only your few hours. Isn’t that a sweet deal… for me indeed it is…. And so should it be for everyone, … go ahead- remove the dust off the book U purchased, flipped through a few pages and then dumped it with an excuse of ‘why you could not complete it”- this time make none… I did not and so should you.

BE YOU…

Be You - Ajay Tewari Blog

Think about a time when you were extremely anxious — say, before standing up to publicly speak, raising your hand in a big meeting, or even walking through a room of strangers. The reason you felt small and scared and tense is you were worried about social disapproval – referred to as FOPO – fear of people opinion.

what makes you you

If you start paying less  attention to what makes you you — your talents, beliefs, and values — and start conforming to what others may or may not think, you’ll harm your potential. You’ll start playing it safe because you’re afraid of what will happen on the other side of the critique. You’ll fear being ridiculed or rejected. When challenged, you’ll surrender your viewpoint. You won’t raise your hand when you can’t control the outcome. You won’t go for that promotion because you won’t think you’re qualified.

FOPO - Ajay Tewari Blog

Unfortunately, FOPO is part of the human condition since we’re operating with an ancient brain. A craving for social approval made our ancestors cautious and savvy; thousands of years ago, if the responsibility for the failed hunt fell on your shoulders, your place in the tribe could be threatened. The desire to fit in and the paralyzing fear of being disliked undermine our ability to pursue the lives we want to create.

Ajay Tewari Must Read Blog

If you find yourself experiencing FOPO, there are ways to dampen the intensity of your stress responses. Once you’re aware of your thoughts, guide yourself toward confidence-building statements (I am a good public speaker, I’ve put in the work so that I can trust my abilities, I have a lot of great things to say, I’m completely prepared for this promotion). These statements will help you focus on your skills and abilities rather than others’ opinions. Take deep breaths, too. This will signal to your brain that you’re not in immediate danger.

Must Read Blogs

I can’t overstate how important a personal philosophy is. I’ve noticed that, beyond a relentless pursuit of being their best, what makes these high performers great is their clear sense of the principles that guide them. Because of their clarity, they’re more willing to push themselves, learn more, and embrace discomfort. They can shut out the noise and opinions of fans and media and listen to their own well-calibrated, internal compass.

Once you’ve developed your own personal philosophy, commit yourself to live in accordance with its tenets. Start at home. Tell that person you love them. Dance at a wedding. Take risks. Be respectfully weird. (That probably means, be you.) Then try it at work. Give a presentation. Go for that promotion. Do things that will engender the opinions of others. When you feel the power of FOPO holding you back, simply acknowledge it, and re-connect to your philosophy and the larger objective at hand.

Christmas & New Year Best Wishes

Ajay Tewari New Year Wishes

We all look forward to this part of the year when things finally wind up for the year …specially In December there is lot to celebrate, Christmas, new year and so on and there is a great opportunity to celebrate these holidays to allow ourselves to be festive, to indulge a little bit more with the loved ones, and celebrate whatever there is to celebrate. But, there is one important aspect if we can bring in “mindfulness to our celebration” – eating mindfully and slowly, experiencing how much better food tastes, when we saviour it. We can bring “compassion and gentleness to the table if there is any overwhelm with a challenging family member- we can “practice patience and deep listening“. We can also practice forgiveness and gratitude for our loved ones and there generosity, there are lots of opportunities to be mindful BUT we can also let go a little…

2019 wish from CEO Ajay

Through the calendar year, many of our days are devoted to work in accomplishing things and we are incredibly focus on our responsibilities- so these opportunities we have… to let go and enjoy and celebrate life, these are important aspects of maintaining Work Life Balance…we can celebrate and let go in a mindful way…so be rejoice…allow yourself to relax, get more sleep if you need to, or stay up a little later…indulge in a few extra sweets..whatever gives you pleasure…The holidays will soon get over so while they are here enjoy this special time..as osho said Life should not only be lived it should be celebrated….celebrate the next few days with your loved ones.
I appreciate all of your great work this year; it is because of you, and because we know we can do so much more for customers and clients than anyone else, that I have such great confidence in our future. Please enjoy some well deserved rest with family and friends during this holiday season, and let’s get right back to it in 2019.
Merry Christmas  and wishing you a very happy new year to you, your family and your loved ones.

NO LEFT-TURNS

No Left Turn

Life travels it’s own path and the story below depicts this wonderfully with lot of graceful lessons to be learnt – it’s up to us to learn from this wonderful story and follow – enjoy the story.

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes…

My father never drove a car. Well, that’s not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

“In those days,” he told me when he was in his 90s, “to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.”

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
“Oh, bull shit!” she said. “He hit a horse.”

“Well,” my father said, “there was that, too.”

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars – the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford — but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we’d ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. “No one in the family drives,” my mother would explain, and that was that. But, sometimes, my father would say, “But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we’ll get one.” It was as if he wasn’t sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn’t drive, it more or less became my brother’s car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn’t bother my father, but it didn’t make sense to my mother. So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father’s idea. “Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?” I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps — though they seldom left the city limits — and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn’t seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin’s Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish’s two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he’d take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests “Father Fast” and “Father Slow.”

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he’d sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I’d stop by, he’d explain: “The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.”

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out — and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, “Do you want to know the secret of a long life?”

“I guess so,” I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

“No left turns,” he said.

“What?” I asked

“No left turns,” he repeated. “Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic..

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.”

“What?” I said again.

“No left turns,” he said. “Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that’s a lot safer. So we always make three rights.”

“You’re kidding!” I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

“No,” she said, “your father is right. We make three rights. It works.” But then she added: “Except when your father loses count.”

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

“Loses count?” I asked.

“Yes,” my father admitted, “that sometimes happens. But it’s not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you’re okay again.”

I couldn’t resist. “Do you ever go for 11?” I asked.

“No,” he said ” If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can’t be put off another day or another week.”

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003.. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom — the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily — he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he’d fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising — and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, “You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.”

At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, “You know, I’m probably not going to live much longer.”

“You’re probably right,” I said.

“Why would you say that?” He countered, somewhat irritated.

“Because you’re 102 years old,” I said.

“Yes,” he said, “you’re right.” He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: “I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet.”

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words: “I want you to know,” he said, clearly and lucidly, “that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.”

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I’ve wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long. I can’t figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he quit taking left turns.

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”

ENJOY LIFE NOW – IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!

A story to reflect upon – I loved the closing
“Nobody said life is easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it”.

I am what am because We all are!

The power of humanity has no boundaries – as much as we think that our boundaries are being defined in this modern world.

We often think of ourselves as individuals – seperate from each other or in competitions from each other. When a coworker receives a praise we feel something which was ours was taken away from us – we feel angry or jealous for not having similar accomplishments. This competitiveness filled world view can cloud our perception and stifle some of our most wonderful human qualities – which we realise once the train has left the station called Life.

There was a story – there was once an anthropologist lived with an African tribe and he asked the children to play the game and asked them to line up to run to the tree where he kept the basket of candies and the first one to arrive will win the baskets ! The kids all lined up bobbling on their feet awaiting the signal but when he shouted “Go” – kids instead of racing off in a competitive frenzy, the children held hands and went all together in one line – when they arrived at the tree and claimed the basket, they shared the candies equally !

Amazed by this act, the anthropologist asked how can they do that and WHY? They said how can ONE OF US BE HAPPY IF ALL THE OTHERS ARE SAD !! This is the concept of UBENTU – That loosely translates as Humanity – unbentu is a philosophy – a way of acting that prioritises well being of a group above that of an individual…it relies on human interdependence so that NO-ONE is left behind – I am what am because We all are!

Instead of feeling threatened by others – believe that we all are fundamentally good. Every generous action, kind words or warm thoughts can contribute to everyone’s well being including our own. Lets remind ourselves and let this story be a gentle reminder to all of us to see the world through the prism of UBENTU – allow your humanity to flourish, be generous, kind and welcoming to others – please remember that we are humans because of the humanity of others – As desmond Tutu said – Ubentu tells us that unbentu tells us that we can create a more peaceful world by striving for goodness in each moment wherever we are..Let go the rivalry of being better than others and you will find an intrinsic unsaid feeling of contentment and happiness which you will cherish..

A Thought

As the life moves on we believe that the future is based on the laurels of the past – how wrong we are is dependent upon our willingness to adapt and adjust to the uncertainties “Life has to offer”. My experience of life with each day teaching you some new thing..our friendship with everything larger than us to the wisdom of source. Our friendship with experience opens us to the wisdom of life on earth. Doing is not as same as thinking that you are doing because what we do when we do is very different to what we thought we could do. When we talk about human relationship we consider it as part of the flow – where the waves of emotions provides the wake and current for you to flow with the ebb – you flow with it and not against it and create the whirlwind of emotions. Try to ride the wave through deep appreciation of understanding, listening and patience usually will take the boat of your life to the desired port of call. When we celebrate events like Diwali or Christmas or Eid – the happiness is not in the individual celebrations but in the common wave of happiness which engulf us and raises our spirits to make us realise the importance of life and its beautiful gifts. Next will come but may be can also be a possibility – so raise now and not then, because what we own is now and not then.

The Beginning – New Journey

The beginning is always difficult for any thing be it business, studies, relationship and come to think of it – writing.

Time and again my inner self has motivated me to write but my outward self resented the idea. Toyed with the idea till I met someone who said something very interesting -Quote” do what you wanted to do, so that you can move on to those things in life which you wished to do” Unquote – a very thin line between the two but indeed there is difference between the two. One emanates from suppressed desires over the years and other blossoming into one – if not taken care of – quickly.

Question then comes is what to write? fiction, non fiction, business, non business, life, stories and the list goes on. To me writing is an expression – of what ? – is dependent upon the mind frame you have trained yourself to be in @ that moment of time. Moods does not result in writing, its the writing which sets in the mood ! The mood again is a tangible form of expression which is dependent upon situations and surroundings- however if we try to be stabilised in self – the notion of mood has no room for display.

I shall write, and I shall write what I feel has to be written – as an outward form of my expressionS while taking into consideration the sensitivity of the topic, people and the environment I may touch upon during such reverberations of my thoughts . This shall harness my ability to let wonderful indegnous thoughts flow out of me – some may start a dialogue, a positive discussion, debate or may have some bearing on the emotions of a, or a group of persons.

I shall write not to please anyone – not even myself but to leave some indelible impressions which otherwise may be left within my morbid self and goes away with me – when its time to leave. Sprinkling of few drops here and there for my own sake – am sure will not disturb the nature harmony.

Wish me happy journey- hope the big boss will be kind as he has been all the years.